omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
