random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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