they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
