Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
