Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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