Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
