this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize