your room smells of hookers.
And success
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
