So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
