Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just gift wrapped bread.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
