Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
