is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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