The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
