Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize