Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
