i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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