Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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