I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Couch. On fire.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
