we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
my liver is dry heaving
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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