Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
