Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
