i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize