is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize