we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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