Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize