Don't make out with my wife yet
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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