This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
