I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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