Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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