Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She bit a glass in half.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
