I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
