On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize