He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
