Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
