i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
