Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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