No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize