I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
