let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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