I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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