one two three fourrrrnication!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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