Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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