Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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