i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
