I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
