honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
