i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Life is so much better after having sex.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
