too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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