we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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