what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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