question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
