Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Even my vagina gasped.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
