Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
