Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
