you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
