Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
